Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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