I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
