if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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