I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
