She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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