i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
