Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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