My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
