There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
