I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
