Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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