yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
