You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
