If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
COCAINE IS GR8
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
