I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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