if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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