so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I enjoy the company of your penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
