Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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