now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
