SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
