This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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