just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize