Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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