he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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