We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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