I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
