His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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