yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
