i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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