Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How's work?
Spinning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
