I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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