I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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