yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
