Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
