I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish you could order shots online.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
