My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
