You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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