I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize