I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
