...so i touched it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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