i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
