Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
