I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
