I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
