Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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