sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
