yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
