Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize