Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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