Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.