Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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