He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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