Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
