I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she looked like the before picture.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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