Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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