yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
