Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
