you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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