I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
