Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
