I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize