Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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