Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
